The Current Cast - 05/03/09

Just two weekends ago, on May 3, 2009, The Fantasticks held a 50th Anniversary Reunion for alumni and friends in New York and I was part of the celebration. This musical icon opened on May 3rd, 1960 at the 152 seat Sullivan Street Theater off-Broadway. It closed forty-two years later in January, 2002, after 17,231 consecutive performances, of which I played El Gallo approximately five hundred times in two six month stints in 1965 and 1967.

A revival is happily in place at the Jerry Orbach theater at 50th & Broadway, named for the equally iconic actor, singer, dancer and entertainer who was the original El Gallo.

Ramona Mallory

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The story, being referred to as “The Bethesda Incident,” is just now emerging, several weeks after the fact. It is a chilling reminder of the high stakes game that is global warming, where idiologues rule.

The facts are these. Anticipating President Obama’s intention to go green in his desire to destroy the economy, sixteen SUV’s saw the handwriting on the wall and celebrated Earth day by committing suicide in Bethesda, Maryland yesterday.

SUV Suicide Leader

They were overcome with guilt because their gas mileage was over the recommended levels needed to save the planet. Among the gas guzzling behemoths that plunged to their tragic deaths over Waland’s Cliff was an Audi Q7, a Cadillac Escalade, two Toyota 4Runners, a Land Rover, a Hummer, Ford Explorer and a Mercedes GL-class. The remaining brand names are being withheld pending notification of their owners.

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With Plaxico cut, Giant fans everywhere were speculating about a first round pick to replace him. Previous GM’s might have reached for someone like that, in what is known as the Brian Alford Memorial Pick.

Not for want of trying, though. As you all know by now, JR offered Cleveland a second and fifth for Braylon Edwards, but no players. Instead, brilliantly thinking out of the box, Reese offered Cleveland BBI (BigBlueInteractive) web posters Jlukes, Margi, AmishPatel and Big Blue ’56. Cleveland rejected the offer and demanded Eric, J_Rud, Sal in Yonkers and an Asshat to be named later. The deal fell through and Edwards remains a Brown. What can Browns do for you? The answer: Nothing.

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I had an eye-popping experience at Durham’s Teen Fest performance at NCC’s B.N. Duke Auditorium this past Saturday deserves a bit more.

Teen Fest presented a talent show for and by teenagers committed to fighting drugs, alcohol, abuse and gang violence among their peers. I got the heads-up from a John McCann column in the Herald-Sun, along with the notice that a long ago friend and colleague, Clifton Davis, of Amen fame was to be one of the judges. So I went.

After the gracious Teen Fest founder, Donna-maria Harris, took me backstage to re-unite with Clifton, I watched the show. And what an inspiring performance it was! Energetic, talented teens from here and elsewhere in North Carolina gathered to present their skits, songs, step-dances, word poems and raps against the vicious evils that plague young people, lustily supported by their friends and parents.

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I was on the road filming a trailer yesterday and one of my fellow actors had a copy of The Washington Post. A story there caught my eye.

It seems that the California Air Resources Board wants to legislate against black cars starting in 2012 because it requires so much energy to cool them.

For the link-challenged, this is the Post story. There are others.

Greenies call it saving the planet. I call it government interference of my rights, an interference I categorize under the rubric of tyranny.

Will this regulation succeed? The mind-numbingly devotion to the truth of man-made global warming being even more intense than Obamadolatry, I think it has an outside chance, as insane as the proposal is.

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A story out of Indiana speaks of the UAW’s attempt to organize a union for a company of fifty employees, who live in a small town, and who all were basically friendly with one another.

The organizing attempt was through Card Check, a labor bill that is being pushed by the Senate. Card Check means that if you want a union, you sign a card, if you don’t, you don’t sign.

The evil here is that everyone knows how you voted. The potential for disrupted relationships and broken friendships is patently obvious. Think of how friends are often divided after the divorce of a couple they know.

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Quietly and with great secrecy the administration has called in the services of the International Metaphysical Psychic Society, or IMPS, to investigate the possibility that the President’s teleprompter is haunted.

Haunted?

No one will admit that IMPS representatives are on the scene, but a White House staffer who wanted to remain anonymous for fear of a tax audit, said that the occult investigators have already concluded that there is, indeed, a promptergeist in the White House.

“It is the only possible explanation,” said another staffer, who would only speak to this reporter while inside a locked closet. “No one is taking responsibility for all the fuck-ups in the White House,” he or she said, “so since it wasn’t human, it has to be a ghost.”

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So went that wonderful FedEx commercial where two guys in a mail room thought they were DOOMED! They really weren’t. But we are.

OBAMA: Uh, you know, I — I — I have more than enough to do, uh, without having to worry about the financial system.

You’ll find that quote at the end of these dazzlingly tongue-tied remarks our eloquent President made in a non-telepromptered phone call to a New York Times reporter who had just interviewed him on Air Force One. The Obama champagne was flat.

OBAMA: See, uhhh, I — I — eh — Just one thing that, uhh, I was thinking about as I was, uhh, — as I was — getting off the, uhhh, copter ’cause, I — uhhh — you know, it was hard for me to believe you were entirely serious about that socialist question.

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Stay Here Free

Speaking from the steps of the Church Of the Divine Government, President Obama has announced his ambitious plan for Universal Hotel Care. This single-payer hotel care bill would guarantee every American an affordable hotel room or suite in any city in the United States, with no co-pay. This is another piece of the puzzle to provide the cradle to grave the President wants the government to provide for all Americans.

“Why should any citizen of this great country have to stay with friends or family because they can’t afford a decent hotel room?” said the President. “Why should a hard-working American have to crash in someone’s living room or pump up an airbed in the basement of an acquaintance’s house because a hotel room would crash their budget?”

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Remember Urkel, the wacky, destructive neighbor nerd on Family Matters?

He’s back. I found this on Michele Malkin’s blog and he’s in the White House. Leading the country. The Charles In Charge, the Andy Richter Controlling the Universe, our Nanny, Father Knows Best, the Benson of the Beltway. We all know Who’s the Boss. The buck stops at his desk. The heat’s in his kitchen and the market is burning our butts. It’s the White House as sitcom.

President Urkel

But wait! President Urkel himself said he doesn’t pay attention to market “gyrations.” That’s so Urkel. They’re like tracking polls, he says. True! They’re tracking the loss of four trillion dollars of capital since the election made him King Of the Hill.

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