BoniLogue

On this Martin Luther King day, we at the Rename Everything To Martin Luther King Institute are at a crossroads. It has come to our attention that a school in Hempstead, NY, has renamed itself Obama Elementary. Already! And he doesn’t even have a library yet.

We must meet this renaming challenge before it begins or we will wake up one morning and discover that everything has been renamed after Obama and not Martin Luther King. We have been working hard, and urge you all to re-double your efforts.

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Stay Here Free

Speaking from the steps of the Church Of the Divine Government, President Obama stood among the wreckage of the Democrat party and proposed a plan designed to help him win next year’s election.  The plan is ambitious and costly, but it will be paid for by magic, courtesy of the newly appointed Wishful Thinking Czar David Copperfield.

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The OWS phenomenon has reminded me of Sundays many years ago when my friend Koki Novikov would invite friends for dinner in her Brighton Beach neighborhood, an enclave for many Russian-Americans and recent Russian émigrés.

When there, I observed the unhappiness of many newly arrived Russian men.  This was not the famously chronic, brooding sadness of the Russian soul, but rather a sadness born of purposelessness.  At the time, they were drifting aimlessly, unable to engage liberty and clueless about how to handle the options of freedom.

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What’s the deal on death?

Everybody talks about it like it’s the end of the world. Well, it is in a way, but all this boo-hoo-hooing about it just makes it worse. It’s such a Debbie Downer. Don’t you just hate that? I do.

My big beef is with this Grim Reaper guy. Why is he Grim? Why can’t it be the Smiling Reaper. After all, he’s removing you from all the troubles in the world. That’s worth smiling about. No more taxes, no more mother-in-law, no more Kardashians, no more neighbor who borrows your lawnmower and never returns it.

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LATELY. GIVE A LOOK.

More to come

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If anyone wants more stuff, I’ll be back shortly.

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Down They All Go

No, not Flushing, New York, the city in Queens where my beloved New York Mets play. I’m talking about flushing, the verb.

It’s my proposal for a constitutional amendment mandating a total flushing from the Washington beltway all politicians, lobbyists, journalists and correspondents every sixteen years — the Flushteenth Amendment.

We have witnessed members of both parties ignoring the wishes and needs of the people and are instead marching to the drummer of their own re-election and party ideology.

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The most ubiquitous Don’t

The political climate is very caustic and negative these days and I’ve come to the conclusion that we’re essentially a negative society. We’re governed by negatives, in particular the word “Don’t.”

Why is that? Don’t ask me! All I know is that don’ts are all over the place. Don’t litter, don’t loiter, don’t walk on the grass, don’t spit, don’t talk, don’t tailgate, don’t cross on the red, don’t use near an open flame and don’t drink and drive . Then there’s don’t enter and don’t exit. The don’ts got you coming and going.

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Judge Vaughn Walker overturned Proposition 8 the other day under the irrefutable Constitutional argument that gay marriages are better than traditional marriage.

I’m all for it. Love and marriage. Boys, girls, pets, plants, toasters — If you love it, you should be able to marry it.

Same sex Boys

Same sex Girls

Personally I do not think anyone should ever pass laws against same sex marriage. Legislators would have better luck with a ban against “no sex” marriage. If you get married you have to have sex. It’s the law.

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