Who Could Ask For Anything More!

For all you afficianados of opera and baseball, I’ve been ruminating a lot lately about the tenors I have heard in my lifetime and thought I’d put them in a baseball lineup. If you don’t follow either opera or our National Sport, just skip this or you’ll be scratching your head.

1. Carlo “Slick” Bergonzi

Carlo’s the perfect leadoff singer. He sets the table for the rest of the lineup. I can’t think of anyone who touches base more often than Carlo.

2. Giuseppi “Big D” DiStefano

This guy sings for average and can always be counted on to move the singer along. Carlo will not be on first for long with this next voice singing behind him.

3. Jussi “Juicy” Bjoerling

What can you say about this guy! He rarely strikes out, he’s always in the opera and will drive in runs. Highest average on the team and a thorn in the side of opponents.

4. Mario “MadDog” delMonaco

The quintessential clean-up man. Enormous power singer, but is capable of singing for average as well. Feared by opponents and a major crowd pleaser.

5. Franco “Calfman” Corelli

You’ve got to protect your number four singer and how better to do that than put Franco in the lineup behind him. They can’t claim a refund around Mario knowing the switch-singing Franco is up next.

6. Luciano “Skinny” Pavarotti

The new kid. Major potential, already tearing up the league with obscure arias. Sometimes they pull the shift on him because he always sings lyric, but he’s working on his spinto. When he starts singing with that heavier bat, look out.

7. Alfredo “Oddman” Krauss

Just the guy you want in the number seven spot. The guy keeps it all alive. Innings don’t die when we’re at the bottom of the singing order because Al’s there.

8. Ferrucio “Pops” Tagliavini

This wily veteran still has some at-sings left in him. His technique is picture perfect and he never gives less than his best.

9. Placido “Utility Man” Domingo

Steady, not spectacular. Can play all positions and will make contact. Great musician and a good steadying influence on the others.

On the bench, we have Campora, Barioni, Tucker, Labo, Peerce

Here’s how a typical inning might go.

Bergonzi steps up to the spotlight, clears his throat and stands in. Carlo craftily observes every pitch as he gives us a dazzlingly artistic Parmi veder la lagrime and draws a walk.

DiStefano takes his turn and — wow, a bunt, surprising everyone with a French aria, Avant de quiter ces Lieux from Faust. They thought he’d go with a Cielo e mar, or maybe a M’appari and he catches everyone flat-footed.

Bjoerling stands in, with his classic sing, and takes the first pitch, which is a little flat. Rumblings of excitement fill the audience as they hear delMonaco warming up with scales in the wings. Bjoerling swings and belts out a Che gelida manina, that clears the bases. Two runs in, Bjoerling standing on third, barely winded.

DelMonaco enters the spotlight. Here is the pitcher’s nightmare. The crowd is going wild. Two pitches are wasted and then — yikes, a huuugggge Esultate that must have travelled six hundred feet. They’ll be measuring that one. Bjoerling scores and “Maddog” trots home. Business as usual.

Next up is Corelli. He’s singing from the right tonight, dramatic and not left, or lyric. He blasts out a Di Quella Pira, and winds up on third base. Boy, if I were on the mound, I’d walk off right now.

Here comes Krauss. Oh, boy, a De mei bollenti spiriti elegantly down the line, just out of reach of the first baseman. A stand-up double for Alfredo as Corelli trots home, slowly, on those beaufitul legs of his.

Pavarotti takes a few sings in the wings and rumbles to the spotlight. The audience loves this spunky, funny rookie, and he justifies his inclusion in the lineup with the big aria from La Figlia du Regimento and scores.

Big cheer as “Pops” Tagliavini steps up to the spotlight with a quick Questa ‘o Quella and easily makes it to first base.

The inning continues and continues and continues until we say enough, turn off our CD player and watch the Mets game, satisfied and inspired by the great sounds we were privileged to hear.