I dropped my nephew off at the condom distributing table of his high school the other morning. Business was brisk, as you can imagine whenever the potent combination of sex and freebies is offered to a teenager.

The condom distributing table is — no sacrilege intended — a godsend for adolescents like my nephew. He’s easily embarrassed when he tries to get a condom the old fashioned way — from a pharmacist. He even blushes when he tries to buy them anonymously from a dispenser.

He was thrilled when he heard through the hormone grapevine that some high schools across the country were distributing the little devices to students to prevent disease or unwanted pregnancies. His circle of friends hoped they wouldn’t run out of adolescence before their school instituted the same policy. Sure enough, they didn’t and my nephew’s school did.

Comments(0)

This insider wrote earlier about the formation of a new Christian Movie Studio dedicated to creating films that preach the word and make money. Their first effort, Starsky and Christ, is now in pre-production. Here is the second film slated for a greenlight.

Punchdrunk Passion. A shy, hesitant Jesus, played by Adam Sandler-Smith) desperately woos the brazen village vixen, Mary Magdalene (Selma Hayek). He tries impressing her with parlour tricks like multiplying loaves and fishes, healing lepers and raising from the dead Mary’s old boyfriend, Big Laz, who had o’d’d on hash during a debauched wedding at Cana. Mary finally realizes she loves Jesus and runs to Golgotha to tell him, but Roman soldiers prevent her from doing so before he dies. Film is based on the Gnostic gospel of Mary of Magdalena, The Empowerment Of Magdalene, which archeologists found in the ruins of a lesbian bookstore in Nazarus. At last a story from the woman’s POV, in which Jesus’ last words are the poignant, “Mary, why did you stand me up?”

Comments(0)

I never got any self-esteem when I was a kid.

Not today’s kids. Society showers them with self-esteem for anything they do, and my mantle has ten last place little league trophies to prove it. I’m still laboring under the notion that kids should accomplish something before getting a reward, but kids these days get trophies just for signing up. All I got was an education and I’m feeling deprived.

I got a trophy once, but I had to win a race first. I felt great and I assume my opponents felt lousy. All they got were handshakes. It must have been a situation like this that prompted the self-esteem inventor to think, Why should my kid feel lousy because he lost a race?

Comments(0)

First it was the success of Mel Gibson’s Passion Of the Christ and the box office success of The Nativity. Christian film makers are coming to realize that they can get out the Word and still be entertaining. A consortium of Christian movie makers are in the early stages of bringing “Christ accessible” films to a public yearning for guidance and values. This insider will update you periodically on the films as they’re slated for production, the first being, Starsky and Christ.

Comments(0)

The futile, destructive Democrat non-binding resolution about the Iraq war quickly brings to mind those other non-binding resolutions we all make every New Years Day. Give up smoking, drinking, crack, lose weight, organize the closets, stop driving while intoxicated and buy new underwear.

We make ‘em, but we don’t have to keep ‘em. They’re non-binding. Nobody is going to take away your cigarette and booze money to make sure you stop smoking and drinking, no one will slap away that super-size as you bring it to your mouth and stores will still sell you jockeys to replace the stained ones hanging on your doorknobs.

Comments(0)