Accidental pants stuffing

With the addition of Sandy Berger as adviser to her campaign, Hillary Clinton has added another shady, immoral character to join her entourage — Norman Chu, Slick Willie himself and now Sandy, the Thief of Baghdad.

You remember Sandy, who said he regretted his “honest mistake” of stuffing documents from the National Archives down his pants and in his socks. “I thought I was tucking in my shirt and didn’t realize that I had documents in my hands when I was doing it.”

Mr. Berger also regrets honestly lying mistakenly to officials at the National Archives when he said he had placed documents in the back in the drawers. “It was a misunderstanding,” he said. “They thought I meant the Archive file drawers, but I was talking about my boxers.”

Berger explained, “I was reading National Archive documents on the toilet — which isn’t illegal — and when I finished doing my business I grabbed the Charmin, did what I had to to and as I was pulling up my shorts, the documents I was reading happened to get caught up in my Fruit Of the Looms. It’s the same thing that happened when I had honestly put other documents down my pants when I was honestly tucking in my shirt.”

Berger’s droopy socks

Inadvertent sock stuffing

“Likewise my socks,” he added, embarassed, saying that “all the elastic went out of them and they were drooping, so I lifted them up as would any normal, honest American. In the process, some documents I was examining happened to get stuck in the sock. That happens to people all the time.”

There’s no doubt that Berger can instruct Mrs. Clinton on ways to honestly conceal classified material in her brassiere or panties. Clinton staffers say that Hillary’s butt is getting so big it would be hard to tell how many documents she’s got down there anyway. “She could have the Sunday Times down there and nobody would notice,” observed one anonymous Clintonista.