March 5, 2008
Arthur
No, not the lovable little ardvaark on PBS, nor the redemptive alcoholic played by Dudley Moore in the film of the same name. I’m talking about my Arthur, a thirty-eight year old writer who lives somewhere in Los Angeles and who seems to have become attached to me. It might be love, I don’t know.
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This is Arthur and one can immediately see why he’s always asking people to get him a woman. And at his age, the success clock might be running out. Seems he’s working on a career that’s not working. But that’s his problem, isn’t it!
We all have Arthurs in our lives. You’ll find them at school, at work, in organizations you belong to, maybe even in your neighborhood. I met my Arthur at a privately run writer’s website.
The site is interesting and valuable except for the political forums which, as a gathering spot for Hollywood writers, is overwhelmingly liberal. Many of the conservative voices have left and the political forum is mostly a liberal circle jerk. It’s smart people sitting around patting one another on the back. Okay, fair enough.
Arthur and I had clashed on this site — he’s a liberal and I’m not. Because I’m not, I’ve been called a right winger, a wing nut and a hateful conservative. That’s par for the liberal course, of course. You disagree with them and you’re not just someone who disagrees — you’re a greedy Republican, a racist, a yahoo, flag-pin wearer, bigot or some other demonizing name.
But there was something about Arthur’s style and tone I didn’t like so I put him on “ignore,” which means that his posts don’t show up when I log on. No big deal. I’m sure some of my colleagues there don’t like my style and probably put me on ignore or, well, just ignore me.
A little while ago, however, Arthur went to my blog, this blog, a modest little site I created to have a place to continue writing and to express my opinions. Mostly the premises are meant to be funny, but often they’re just essays about my opinions. By the way, I have it linked at the end of my posts on the writers’ site. It’s there for anyone to link to and see.
Arthur commented negatively to one of my posts and at first I didn’t realize that this Arthur was the same sneaky, unlikeable little twerp from the writers’ site. I responded to the post thanking him for participating –it’s still up there. But as he continued posting I recognized the smug style, the parting insults, the self-righteous fullness of himself that I so much didn’t like about him on the writers site. So I deleted his subsequent posts.
He yelped, whined and called me a coward for not permitting contrary opinions. I responded by saying, no, it’s not because your opinions are contrary. It’s you! I don’t like you and don’t want you here. Go somewhere else.
“How could you not like me?” he whined in a subsequent post, “you don’t even know me.” Doesn’t matter. I don’t have to be an expert on doggie doo to know I don’t want it in my house.
But Arthur continued to post. He kept coming back. To my small, little site, of all the big ones out there, he cyber stalked me, even when I declared my personal restraining order telling him he wasn’t welcome. Note to Arthur’s girlfriends — don’t reject him. He’ll be peeking at you behind your bushes.
I simply deleted his comments. Arthur couldn’t understand why, if I purported to have a “political blog,” I wouldn’t allow all kinds of criticism. Well, the blog certainly has many political elements, but I never claimed it was political. Much on it isn’t. Arthur did the purporting. Further, it’s MY blog and it’s what I want it to be — stuff I write about. (Incidentally, Arthur is the author of over ten thousand posts on the writers site, an average of 7.93 per day. A young guy like that! Get a girl, Arthur. Get a life. Get something. Have the balls to start your own fucking blog instead of stalking mine.
This is all back story to why I’m writing this piece. You’ll see below a post called Barack Hussein Obama, which you can read if you want. Essentially its about my feeling that if people want to use Barack’s middle name, have at it. If some think its racist or anti-Islamic, the users of Hussein will pay whatever price they’re willing to pay by using it. But co-opting its use by labeling it as offensive or racist is what I object to, be it that, “water buffalo” or “niggardly.“
So, on the above mentioned writers’ site today, Arthur started a thread titled Barack Hussein Obama and linked to the post below. And then he proceeded to criticize it. Okay, why not! I guess the poor bastard knew I would delete it if he put it up on my site and he had to let the gas out of his system somehow.
But the sneaky little coward didn’t have the courage to call me out by name. He kept referring to me as “this blogger,” or “Mr. Blogger,” the coy deception the modern equivalent of bushwackers who take their shots while hiding safely behind rocks. Also, he knows that I have him on ignore, so I wouldn’t see it. (Someone alerted me about it via private mail.) In subsequent posts, Arthur claimed he didn’t use my name because he was being discrete, but all one had to do was click on the link to see that he was referring to me. And, like the loser he is, he blamed another poster for revealing my identity.
Instead of writing a post that said, “I can’t believe what John Boni wrote on his blog” and proceed to make his points, he snuck me in under cover of the third person and then ran under his bed to hide. Why am I not surprised!? There is courage in being up front, in calling someone out to disagree with you. Not with Arthur, a pathetic, humorless toady filled with hate for those who disagree with him.
Lots of us have had an Arthur in our lives. In elementary school he could have been the goody-goody or teacher’s pet. He often was a snitch. He returned his library books on time. He’s the kid you always suspected was a sneak, who came at you sideways or through others, without the courage to address you directly. Some of you may have known him just as that little prick. We used to give guys like this a couple of wedgies and the pink belly.
Most of them grow out of their little petty personalities, but not Arthur. He’s the kind of guy with nothing better to do with his life than troll the web and take shots at those he disagrees with. I’ve noticed that he writes little that’s original, little of his personal philosophy except to savage in his skunky little way what others post. He seems to be a reactive kind of guy, which to me is someone unwilling to put himself on the line. Speculation, of course.
That’s my Arthur.
Arthur…link THIS.
This is cool. I can say what I like here and not get banned.
Arthur is everything you say, and more. And it’s a shame. The guy is obviously smart.
But he’s also angry, bitter, and can’t get a girl. That means he can’t get laid. And that just increases the cycle of anger and bitterness.
His arguments make no sense. They go in circles.
But the worst thing is that he has almost ten thousand posts on that other board.
I can’t say that there, but I can say it here.
Ten thousand of anything is a lot. But posts on a writer’s board that has a regular viewing audience of about 100? Ten thousand???? THOUSAND?
The guy must spend all of his time there. All of it. Screaming into the void.
Ten thousand posts. Some of them very long. If it’s 3 minutes per post, on average, that’s 500 hours.
That’s three weeks of 24 hour days.
They’ll be a time when he realizes how much of his life he’s wasted there.
And that is the saddest thing of all.
Hiya, John! (And…Lawrence, is it?)
I replied to this on WA, but you may not have seen it yet since you have me on IGNORE. Should I post it here too? Or are you just going to delete it anyway?
And as for my high post count…It’s true that I post a lot, though I think your math is a little off, commenter. A lot of my posts are one-sentence quips, or even just a “Bump” now and then, so I think your per-post estimate is a bit high…but more to the point, the fact is that a lot of them were posted during a dull office job I had where I couldn’t get away with doing scriptwriting, but was able to surf the web a lot and post on WA to my heart’s content…So yeah, I’ve probably logged in a lot of hours reading and posting on the board, but was getting paid all the while and made a tedious work day fly by in the process, so please expend no further worries about my life or lack thereof. I’m even dating these days, just landed a new office job and am writing pretty regularly.
But thank you for your concern, it’s really very touching.
I think it’s amusing that the guy spends way more time lying to himself and to everyone else about just about everything than actually having a life.
I mean, ten thousand posts. Amazing. He could do a lot of things with his time. For example, he could help out on the campaigns of his beloved liberals. Do charitable work. Or, God Forbid, WRITE. Hell, he’s got the time to sit and surf the net. Why not do any number of other things?
Weeks of precious life. Poof. Gone.
Gee, artysbestfriend, you certainly are a brave soul, calling someone you don’t know a liar from behind the cloak of a pseudonym.
Anyone who would call that sort of thing “cowardly” or “weak” or “gutless” simply doesn’t know what they’re talking about.
Just wanted to commend you on your bravery; hope you get this before John deletes this, like he deleted my last one.
There’s another non-coward for you, that John.
Three cheers for both of you bold, brave souls.
(Incidentally, aside from being paid good money at my office job WHILE I was posting there, the friendships I’ve forged on WA as a result of them have also led to a few writing jobs, so they’ve actually paid off handsomely, but again, thanks for your concern.)
(Oh, and here’s an idea: Why not try attacking my actual arguments now and then instead of me personally or my post count? Cause this sort of stuff really makes you look like a major douchebag.)
Hey John, you’re aware how messed up it is that you and your buddy can call me a liar and slander and berate me to your heart’s content, and then you delete all my attempts to speak up for myself, right?
Right?
Arthur,
If you come back and read this, which you probably won’t, I’ll delete you because, as I told you before, I DON’T LIKE YOU. Even if you post something positive, I will delete it because I DON’T LIKE YOU and don’t want you anywhere on my site. Why is that so hard for you to understand and accept?
It has nothing to do with cowardice or fairness, just chemistry.
You came after me on WA. In a very cowardly way. I was perfectly content to completely ignore you, and had been, until that. As I said in my post, it’s not a violation of the TOS to be up front and say “look at what John Boni has to say on this” and criticize it. I might even have admired you for it, but you didn’t disappoint my low opinion of yourself.
Since you have so many other things to do, then do them. If you want to continue cyber-stalking this site and using WA to critize me, do it. It’s nice to know that I have such power over you that you can’t stay away.
John -
Again, I request that you back up your accusations of cowardice with something that at least attempts to make sense. I LINKED TO YOUR BLOG. I said “HEY EVERYBODY, TAKE A LOOK AT THIS BLOG THAT I’M ABOUT TO REBUT!” Where’s the cowardice there? How is that significantly different from, “HEY EVERYBODY, TAKE A LOOK AT JOHN BONI’S BLOG THAT I’M ABOUT TO REBUT!”? The END RESULT is the same. People who clicked the link knew it was YOU whom I was talking about. What exactly is the cowardly part? I’ve asked this several times, and you have yet to answer it.
I’ve already said why I didn’t name you in the thread or the post; simply because it SEEMED overly nasty to do so. Maybe, in retrospect, there was little or no difference between the two, but the best I can say is that it FELT less nasty to not name you there, to instead let people find out for themselves, if they were interested, whose blog I was talking about. But the cowardice thing doesn’t wash, and deep down, you know full well it doesn’t.
And whether or not you like me or dislike me, do you really, honestly not see how unfair and screwed up it is for you to slander me and call me a liar and then delete my responses? You honestly think THAT isn’t cowardly? I would really be upset about this if I thought you had any other visitors to this place.
And the “cyber-stalking” issue has been answered repeatedly as well. You have your link to this place in your signature. I checked it out and started posting here because your arguments were frequently fallacious and specious and ridiculously easy to disprove, and that’s the sort of thing I enjoy doing in my spare time. If you don’t want people who might disagree with you to check this place out (particularly a “liberal haven” such as WA), then my advice is to delete the link from your signature.
And as for the TOS…Sorry, John…I don’t know if the admins have made their final decision, but there is no friggin’ way that paraphrasing my post on a public blog, using my first name, slandering me, and including the actual numbers of my post count and deriding me for it is NOT a violation of WA’s privacy rules. This is dictionary-definition TOS violation, no ifs, ands or buts.
Let’s await the admins’ word on this, shall we?
Arthur — you are a whack job. You can’t stay away from this site because “in your spare time” you enjoy rebutting John’s arguments? You must have a LOT of time on your hands to post 10,000 message on the writer board AND come here.
in my book, that is stalking. And it’s pathological.
I’d also say John isn’t slandering you or lying about you. Everything he says here is opinion, and well-supported at that.
As for the TOS on the writer board, your argument is ludicrous. Never mind that you are not specifically mentioned. You are only mentioned by first name. You outed yourself apparently, so that’s on you. The idea that internet board X should consider posts about you on internet board Y a violation of X’s TOS is so laughable I cannot control myself.
If you can’t stand people allegedly talking smack about you….DON’T READ IT.
Go away. You’ve been told you aren’t wanted here, so why do you keep coming back? Are you that hungry for attention? If, as you say, nobody reads this blog then WHO CARES what gets said about you?
Honestly, you are such a narcissist. I got news for you. Not only are people talking smack about you here, it’s happening in several places, both publicly and privately.
Get used to it. You’ve brought it on yourself for your intolerably stupid and foolish rants, not to mention your utter lack of self-control.
GET OFF THE INTERNET. Go live a life — a REAL life. Stop posting 10,000 times at all times of the day over the next three years.
You will be infinitely more attractive to women if you get some tan onto that pasty complexion.
Artysbestfriend, it takes a brave man indeed to hurl insults like that at someone in public, anonymously. Some would say that’s the ultimate in cowardice, but me, I applaud your bravery. So much so that I invite you to copy that and paste it into a PM and send it to me, so I can laud your bravery personally.
Some are probably thinking that you’re too much of a spineless wuss to identify yourself like that, but not me. I know how brave you are. I believe in you, man. Even though you would probably claim that “belief is destructive” and all that, I believe in you. So please feel free to drop me a PM and prove everyone wrong about what a sad, stupid coward you are.
Looking forward to it!
The only sad, stupid thing around here, Arty — is you.
WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?
Oh, and incidentally, ABF…
Okay, I’ll play along. I still think that estimate is high, but fine, we’ll use your numbers.
According to the website right now, my daily average is 7.65 posts per day.
3 x 7.65 = just under 23 minutes a day I spend posting here. Out of 17 waking hours.
That’s slightly over 2% of my waking hours. Again, by YOUR OWN ESTIMATE.
So even though this “Lookit all those posts!” argument of yours (as you so elegantly put it, “The guy must spend all of his time there.”) is a reliable go-to for you when you don’t have anything else in your quiver, it really doesn’t stand up to scrutiny, so you might want to try something else.
Cause this one really makes you look like a jackass.
So I take it you’re not going to PM me? You’re too much of a coward to admit who you are?
I mean, it’s not like I don’t already know, but the question of just how MUCH of a coward you were going to reveal yourself to be remained open.
Till now, I mean.
you are a whack job.
Why are you even here? You are a stalker and a freak.
You have posted ten thousand times on a website. You are wasting your life.
You are a loser and becoming a bigger loser with every post you make here and elsewhere.
The argument stands up to plenty of scrutiny. You have ten thousand posts. You spend all your time there.
That is just plain weird.
Make use of your time. Get a life. Contribute something meaningful to society.
Arthur … just go away.
Yes, it only takes a few minutes to post anywhere, but it take lots of time to read all the crap that prompts you to make a post in the first place.
So, read this, and leave. Please. You’re a tiresome, annoying bore.
Yes, I will, because you’ve proven my point for me. Which is to say:
John writes a whole column slandering and insulting me, then deletes all the posts in which I defend myself.
His faithful sidekick ABF cheerfully hurls insults at me while hiding behind a pseudonym but declines to identify himself when called out (despite his identity being quite obvious anyway).
Meanwhile, neither of you made even a half-assed attempt to a) Answer the points in my initial rebuttal that started all this, or b) Back up your accusations of cowardice with anything other than more empty insults.
All adding up to…
You’re both a couple of seriously spineless cowards.
It really is amusing. Poor Arty has gone so far off the rails he MUST keep returning to get the shit kicked out of him, like he did in grade school.
Why do you keep coming back to a place that you are not wanted? You really are that kid in 5th grade who always wears the same clothes and never bathes and smells. He follows all the cool kids around saying, “Can I join? Huh? Can I?”
This is known as Asberger’s Syndrome. Also known as masochism.
You want to stick around, fine.
You are a freak.
You are a weirdo.
You are a cyberstalker.
You are filled with bitterness and rage.
You don’t know how to argue and do not have any sense of logic.
You are ugly.
You can’t get a girl.
You have posted 10,000 times on a message board where you yourself make up almost 5% of the total posts.
10,000 of anything is a lot. On a message board, it proves you are a nerd.
Why don’t you just take the time you spend on these message boards and donate it to charity? It will make you feel good about something. Go on, put some actual time and effort into one of your precious Liberal causes. That would show you are a real human being.
Otherwise, it just shows that you are a freak.
Why do you keep coming back when you are told to GO AWAY???
To anyone who has been following these comments:
As promised, I have omitted Arthur’s posts, and will continue to do so. The responses by Artysbestfriend may not make sense in some cases because they responded directly to the disapproved posts from Arthur that I deleted.
Most of them are whiny anyway.
Oh. He’s gone and hasn’t come back. Maybe he took my advice and got a life.
John–
This is beneath you.
IAN
Why is it “beneath him”? He’s telling the straight up God’s honest truth. Arthur is a nutter, and you aren’t much better. The crapola you spit out on the writing board, not to mention the low blows and arrogant elitism, make us all puke.
I personally think Arty the NotSoSmarty has some kind of weird masochistic streak. Why else would he publish the insulting yet true things from here onto another board so everyone can see what they otherwise wouldn’t have a clue about? Is the guy so hungry for attention he’s willing to make himself look like that much of a fool?
Meh. Back in yer hole Bozo.
Lawrence -
I agree. Taking wild, unsubstantiated potshots at me on this safe haven and then deleting all my responses to them is not the least bit beneath John. Nor you. (At least he’s doing it under his own name, though…Still cowardly, but far less so than you.)
Incidentally, your analogy above, that I post here because I want to “play with the cool kids” is just abuot the dumbest thing I’ve ever read. I come on here every now and then to deconstruct the idiotic crap that John is spewing, and you somehow think that’s equivalent to wanting to hang out with the cool crowd, as if the proverbial nerd who wants to get in with the jocks and cheerleaders does so by following them around and telling them what morons they are.
It’s more like I’m the guy walking by the classroom who hears some deranged science teacher telling his students that the earth is 6,000 years old, so I poke my head in to correct him, only to have the door slammed in my face and the door locked and the teacher spend the next week telling the class what a dolt I am.
And your “masochism” theory is equally retarded. I posted the link to this crap because I wanted to provide a peek at the sort of puerile behavior that goes on here (e.g. calling someone “ugly” and a “freak” and knowing he can’t respond. I mean, Jesus, can’t you feel the slime filling your pores when you post that sort of thing?). You seriously think it made ME look bad to post that? Did you notice the distinct lack of huzzahs for you guys? In fact, I could’ve sworn that the general reaction was one of disgust and contempt toward you two. Did you miss that part? Do you have the whole board on Ignore?
But hey, man, if you’re really that determined to believe you came out of this smelling clean, have at it.
But remember…Belief is destructive!
Hahaha. Why did it take me so long to find this article? Brilliant!
I cannot imagine anything worse than being stuck in a room for a 24 hour screenwriting marathon….with Arthur.