August 23, 2008
They NEED To Believe
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Comments(23)August 11, 2008
FAVRE TRADE AN ENVIRONMENTAL DISASTER
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Spokespeople from several environmental organizations have condemned the Bret Favre trade to the New York Jets as being ecologically callous and a slap in the face to anyone who cares about the planet.
“The carbon footprint this trade has made and will continue to make is more destructive to the earth than A-Rod’s trade to the Yankees,” said Shepherd Earth-Steward, founder of Go Green Or Rot In Hell, an environmental group that monitors the environmental impact of trades made in professional sports. Earth-Steward, a former failed shortstop was inspired to create his organization from his experiences on the field. “If I couldn’t stop balls from going into the outfield, I could stop the outfield from turning brown.”
August 6, 2008
POPE BENEDICT TO CANONIZE SENATOR OBAMA
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In a stunning announcement, Pope Benedict has declared that he intends to make Senator Obama a saint, glorifying the young senator as the Church’s two thousandth six hundred and forty-first saint and the only one sanctified while still alive.
His official canonical designation will be St. Barack Of Ward 42. The Vatican’s holy people are consulting with the senator’s holy people to determine what he’ll be saint of. Current speculation is that he will be named the Patron Saint of Celebrities.