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Well, Arizona has given us the latest twist in our national illegal immigration problem. It seems that people of all stripes are pressing the hispanic button.

My solution is fairly straight forward. Progressive liberals (or whatever they’re calling themselves these days), many of whom who love the idea of diversity but can’t stand actually being next to it, need to step up to the plate. Most of you don’t live in an Hispanic neighborhood, you don’t send your kids to schools with large Hispanic or black students, you just want the rest of us to do that so you can assuage your guilt for being white and successful.

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Down They All Go

No, not Flushing, New York, the city in Queens where my beloved New York Mets played at Shea Stadium. I’m talking about flushing, the verb.

It’s my proposal for a constitutional amendment mandating a total flushing from the Washington beltway all politicians, lobbyists, journalists and correspondents every sixteen years — the Flushteenth Amendment.

We have witnessed members of both parties ignoring the wishes and needs of the people and are instead marching to the drummer of their own re-election and party ideology.

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It’s Valentine’s Day, or close to it. A very good excuse to talk about love and its companion, marriage.

I’m all for it. Love and marriage. Valentines Day is a catalyst for a discussion of same sex marriage. Proposition 8 is again back in everyone’s consciousness. That’s how these things work, BTW. For any issue. Big for a while, then it fades and an occasion comes up to bounce it back into the mix.

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And So Will You

This year, all of us here at The Rename Everything To Martin Luther King Institute are proud to say that in this past year we have caused another seven hundred and forty two buildings, government agencies, monuments, charities, scholarships, parkways, roads, streets, highways, Circles, Drives and one Loop to be newly renamed after this great man. This brings to twelve thousand such name changes in the country since his tragic death. Each year brings us closer to our goal of re-naming everything in America in Reverend King’s honor.

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Christmas Tree

Well, it’s that time of year again, when the annual battle between secularists and religionists is again engaged, though not as virulently as in the past. However, the question still remains: Will we be having a Merry Christmas or a Happy Holiday?

Last year, here in Durham, neighbor to the liberal hotbed of Chapel Hill, the “Christmas” trees that once graced the lobbies of the Wilson and Davis libraries at UNC’s Chapel Hill campus during December are now being kept in storage. You can ask a custodian to let you in to take a look at them if you want.

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Stay Here Free

Speaking from the steps of the Church Of the Divine Government, President Obama stood between Archangel Pelosi and Reid to introduce his ambitious plan for Universal Hotel Care. This single-payer hotel care bill would guarantee every American an affordable hotel room or suite in any city in the United States, with no co-pay. This is the latest piece of the puzzle of cradle to grave control over our lives. Who’s your daddy? The government.

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and not gotten into so much trouble.

Did he call President Obama a liar? No. He said that what Obama said was a lie. A distinction, yes, but some would say a distinction without a difference.

So, to avoid future plunges into the quicksand of honesty and avoid being called a racist, a Confederatist, a negativist and the owner of a bad haircut, here are ten alternate ways he could have yelled out the truth about Obama’s health care lies.

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The story, being referred to as “The Bethesda Incident,” is just now emerging, several weeks after the fact. It is a chilling reminder of the high stakes game that is global warming, where ideologues rule.

The facts are these. Anticipating President Obama’s intention to go green in his desire to destroy the economy, sixteen SUV’s saw the handwriting on the wall and celebrated Earth day by committing suicide in Bethesda, Maryland yesterday.

SUV Suicide Leader

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With Plaxico cut, Giant fans everywhere were speculating about a first
round pick to replace him. Previous GM’s might have reached for someone
like that, in what is known as the Brian Alford Memorial Pick.

Not for want of trying, though. As you all know by now, JR offered
Cleveland a second and fifth for Braylon Edwards, but no players. Instead,
brilliantly thinking out of the box, Reese offered Cleveland BBI (BigBlueInteractive) web posters Jlukes, Margi,
AmishPatel and Big Blue ’56. Cleveland rejected the offer and demanded
Eric, J_Rud, Sal in Yonkers and an Asshat to be named later. The deal fell
through and Edwards remains a Brown. What can Browns do for you? The
answer: Nothing.

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