and not gotten into so much trouble.

Did he call President Obama a liar? No. He said that what Obama said was a lie. A distinction, yes, but some would say a distinction without a difference.

So, to avoid future plunges into the quicksand of honesty and avoid being called a racist, a Confederatist, a negativist and the owner of a bad haircut, here are ten alternate ways he could have yelled out the truth about Obama’s health care lies.

Mr. President:

1. You are spanking the truth.
2. You are flirting with fabrication.
3. You are matriculating in mendacity.
4. You are spreading cow chips.
5. You are abusing accuracy.
6. Verity, verity, I say to you.
7. You are cutting some bad cheese.
8. You are having fun with facts.
9. You are fertilizing falsehoods.
10. You have us in the missionary position.
11. Your pants are on fire.
12. You are playing presidential Pinochio.
13. Did you chop down that cherry tree?

Okay, so there’re thirteen things, not ten. I lied.

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