THE WHITES’ GREAT HOPE

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A ban against same sex marriage was overturned Thursday by a California court in — where else — San Francisco. Personally I think the same sex marriage ban is problematic. I think legislators would have better luck with a ban against “no sex” marriage. If you get married you have to have sex. It’s the law.

As to the same sex situation, I don’t think the legislators or the court has gone far enough.

Same sex Boys

Same sex Girls

A fairly rational argument against same sex marriage can be found on the slippery slope, i.e., if we change marriage to mean the joining of two men or two women, why not a woman and a horse, or a man and a donkey?

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Where Man Is King

In Wellington, New Zealand, a deranged, runaway SUV, unhappy with life, distraught and humiliated by criticism of its appetite and size, and unable to afford therapy because of the high price of gasoline, went berserk and crashed itself into a man’s most hallowed space — his toilet.

While he was on it!

This is a violation too far, this unwarranted attack on a man’s sacred place, the Mecca of his personal life, where he reads the sports pages and contemplates the lousy day awaiting him while experiencing the blessed relief of elimination. Nowhere else in the world does such a place exist. Only in the man’s toilet, on his throne.

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Nostradamus Picks Giants

We all know that Nostradamus predicted the Kennedy assassinations and the destruction of the twin towers, along with World Wars I and II and the dropping of the atomic bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima. Beside great world events, Nostradamus had a great interest in sports of the time — mace fests, lance toss, sword derbies and such, and made many sports related prophesies. Everyone knows he predicted the NFL’s “Punt-Pass-and-Kick” competition and, of course, his well known prophesy of half time entertainment at Super Bowls.

I thought I’d comb through Nostradamus’ thousands of prophesies for more sports predictions and as a Giants’ fan, I have been pleasantly surprised to see that he’s clearly picked the Giants to beat the Patriots in Super Bowl 42.

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What was she thinking?

No! No! No!

We here at the Rename Everything To Martin Luther King Institute are deeply disturbed by Hillary Clinton’s recent comments suggesting that President Lyndon Johnson was ultimately responsible for the Civil Rights Act and more important in that respect than the Reverend King.

If this preposterous nonsense is allowed to spread, civic groups everywhere will mount drives to rename existing buildings, airports, streets, roads, colleges, libraries and other edifices to Lyndon B. Johnson. It is even possible that already named Martin Luther King locations could be renamed in honor of President Johnson.

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WARNING: Giants references galore.

Upon beating Dallas on Sunday, January 13, 2007

Unhappy Jerry


In the bag, they thought.
A Dallas win, preordained.
Popcorn anyone?

So many heroes
Give Giants a victory.
The team is valiant.

Jerry bought tickets
To Green Bay before game.
Oops!  A refund, please.


Twelve pro bowlers played
Against us.  All twelve to watch
Super Bowl at home.



Meanwhile, a major world dictator reacts badly to Cowboy loss.



….


A ten minute score!
Eli took forty-eight secs.
All that time wasted.

Monday morning comes!
Time to read about the win.
My toilet awaits.

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Warning: New York Football Giants references galore.

Eli takes the dare


“Let Eli beat us,”
Dared the Bucs before the game.
Well, dare THIS, Gruden.

Tasty is the bird
Called crow, when seasoned with the
Spice of victory. 

The swifter Bradshaw
Slashes through a tired defense
Softened by The Beast.

Manning the younger
Comes of age. Detractors,
Just shut the fuck up.

The Three F demons –
Flipper, Fumble and Frisco,
Exorcised today. 

Loyalty to Giants?
Tiki chooses brother’s team
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! 


Webster interception



Burned so many times,
Beleagured cornerback strives.
Redemption is great.

He sits triumphant,
This talent chooser called Reese.
Can’t wait for the draft.

Whimper, Webster, Boss 
Ruegamer and Wilkinson
Shine a deeper Blue.

Eight minutes off clock
Meadowland stye T.D. drive
Hoffa sleeps happy.


….






Monday morning comes
Time to read about our win.
My toilet awaits.

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There’s a website called Liberal Scum and while I realize the political atmosphere has become extremely toxic, the expression Liberal Scum does give one pause.

Personally, I wouldn’t have been so complimentary.

Bush Derangement Syndrome and the Liberal cornucopia of hate is always striving to reach new heights of depthness. There must be a word out there for that particular depravity and I’m looking under rocks and bottoms of garbage containers to find it.

MoveOn’s General Betrayus ad was one of the more recent examples of their “scummy” challenges to the President and his policies. Harry Reid calling the President “a loser” to a civics class is another. But these examples were bottomed out recently by prominent Democrat, Paul Begala, on CNN, who responded to a Wolf Blitzer question about the election by saying that in some states President Bush polls lower than venereal diseases. And they say that the right is filled with hate.

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After listening to both Republican and Democrat debates, and being unsatisfied with their answers on the budget, the deficit and government spending, I’d like to urge an embrace of Islam.

Most Americans are suspicious of Islam in general and Muslims in particular, giving them wide berth on the streets and evacuating planes in a jiffy when two or three of them enter the jet’s cabin en masse.

But if used wisely, Muslims could lower our spiraling budget crisis, which is why they should be encouraged to run for public office at all levels and then elected.

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In a sacrificial gesture to save the planet, Marilou Rotinsky of Berkeley, California, a luggage psychic, underwent surgery last week to have her anus and vagina sewn shut so that her natural bodily waste products wouldn’t contaminate the earth. “I am supporting the environmental movement by eliminating my own movements,” Ms. Rotinsky said ironically, managing a small smile though in considerable pain from the digested food accumulating inside her one hundred twenty pound body.

Ms. Rotinsky was inspired by Toni Vernelli, an Englishwoman who had herself sterilized to protect the planet. In a London Daily Mail article, Ms. Vernelli is quoted as saying that “Having children is selfish. It’s all about maintaining your genetic line at the expense of the planet. Every person who is born uses more food, more water, more land, more fossil fuels, more trees and produces more rubbish, more pollution, more greenhouse gases, and adds to the problem of over-population.”

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