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    More Title Songs For Movies That Didn’t Have Them.

    [wpcol_1half id=”” class=”” style=””]DR. ZHIVAGO

    To the tune of  Ghost Riders In the Sky

    A troika speeds across the steppes one wintry Russian night;
    It’s doing 20 per — for troikas, that’s the speed of light.
    Ahead is lying town of Tomsk, where anxious footsteps fall:
    They’re waiting for the troika and Zhivago’s first house call.

    Dippy-dee-ayyyyyy….. dippy-dee-dooooooo.  For
    Zhivago’s first house call.

    So through the blinding snow he goes, but he can’t see a thing;
    And at the fork he takes a right — oops!  That way lies Peking.
    A quick U-turn — “Illegal!” yells a Cossack cop named Saul;
    Ten rubles later Saul’s paid off, back to the first house call.

    Diddle-dee-daayyyy; diddle-dee doooo!  It’s
    Back to the first house call.

    Across the Volga, past the boatmen frozen to their oars;
    A peasant tries to hitch a ride, but on the troika roars.
    As villagers stare at Dr. Z. while watching him depart;
    They wonder why in hell they cast an Arab in the part.

    Past Minsk and Pinsk and Omsk to Tomsk, he finally arrives;
    He’s greeted with some vodka and potatoes filled with chives.
    And when the booze was gone, they took him to the patient’s room —
    One look, Zhivago knew right then, the patient’s awful doom.

    “What can I sayyyyy?  Oi-yoi-oy-veyyyy.  This
    Ain’t such a great house call.”

    “I cannot help this man,” he cried, “his ailment mystifies;
    It could be mumps or measles or a windburn of the thighs.
    To diagnose this case you’d need a practicing G.P.;
    It happens that my specialty is gynecology.

    But I’ll refer you to a doc who lives in Vishkovny.
    I doubt if he makes house calls, he’s not sensitive like me.
    Just give the patient aspirin, and be sure he stays in bed;
    And if his body stays that stiff for three more days — he’s dead!

    Diddle-dee-dayyyy; what of the fee?  For
    Zhivago’s first house call?
    Diddle-dee-dilllll; I’ll send a bill.  For
    Zhivago’s first house call.
    Zhivago’s first house call.

     

    [/wpcol_1half] [wpcol_1half  end id=”” class=”” style=”float:right;”]THE BIBLE

    To the tune of Maria

    The Bible!
    I just saw a film called
    The Bible!
    And suddenly I see
    How bad a film can really beee.

    It’s libel!
    The Lord should sue someone
    For libel.
    I know that’s not the way
    He planned to have His say to yeee.

    The Bible!
    Filmed in color that simply breath-taking;
    When it’s through, all your friends you’ll be waking.
    The Bible!
    It wasn’t worth making

    The Bible!
    The Bible!
    The Bible, the Bi-i-i-ble, the biBLE!

    The Bi-i-i-i-ble!
    The Bi-i-i-i-ble, the BIble!

    You’ll see Adam and Eve set their table;
    You’ll see Cain kill his kid brother, Abel.

    The Bible!
    John Huston plays God in
    The Bible!

    The most terrible film I ever saw…-
    The Bi-i-ble.

     

    MARAT-SADE

    To the tune of  These Foolish Things

    A cigarette that bears a lipstick’s traces;
    Just where the flame should be, that’s where your face is.
    I love the screams it brings;
    These ghoulish things remind me of you.

    A belt that isn’t used to hold your pants up;
    And if you yell, that means you give your chance up —
    Which gives me extra swings;
    These ghoulish things remind me of you.

    You writhe, you twist,
    Your skin turns blue.
    Such paradise for you,
    So more will I be nice to you.

    Some shirts with collars that are small
    I’ll get you.
    Then in a tub of wet cement
    I’ll set you.
    Hear how the ghost of you sings,
    These ghoulish things remind me of you.
    [/wpcol_1half_end]

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