[wpcol_1half id=”” class=”” style=””]DR. ZHIVAGO
To the tune of Ghost Riders In the Sky
A troika speeds across the steppes one wintry Russian night;
It’s doing 20 per — for troikas, that’s the speed of light.
Ahead is lying town of Tomsk, where anxious footsteps fall:
They’re waiting for the troika and Zhivago’s first house call.
Dippy-dee-ayyyyyy….. dippy-dee-dooooooo. For
Zhivago’s first house call.
So through the blinding snow he goes, but he can’t see a thing;
And at the fork he takes a right — oops! That way lies Peking.
A quick U-turn — “Illegal!” yells a Cossack cop named Saul;
Ten rubles later Saul’s paid off, back to the first house call.
Diddle-dee-daayyyy; diddle-dee doooo! It’s
Back to the first house call.
Across the Volga, past the boatmen frozen to their oars;
A peasant tries to hitch a ride, but on the troika roars.
As villagers stare at Dr. Z. while watching him depart;
They wonder why in hell they cast an Arab in the part.
Past Minsk and Pinsk and Omsk to Tomsk, he finally arrives;
He’s greeted with some vodka and potatoes filled with chives.
And when the booze was gone, they took him to the patient’s room —
One look, Zhivago knew right then, the patient’s awful doom.
“What can I sayyyyy? Oi-yoi-oy-veyyyy. This
Ain’t such a great house call.”
“I cannot help this man,” he cried, “his ailment mystifies;
It could be mumps or measles or a windburn of the thighs.
To diagnose this case you’d need a practicing G.P.;
It happens that my specialty is gynecology.
But I’ll refer you to a doc who lives in Vishkovny.
I doubt if he makes house calls, he’s not sensitive like me.
Just give the patient aspirin, and be sure he stays in bed;
And if his body stays that stiff for three more days — he’s dead!
Diddle-dee-dayyyy; what of the fee? For
Zhivago’s first house call?
Diddle-dee-dilllll; I’ll send a bill. For
Zhivago’s first house call.
Zhivago’s first house call.
[/wpcol_1half] [wpcol_1half end id=”” class=”” style=”float:right;”]THE BIBLE
To the tune of Maria
The Bible!
I just saw a film called
The Bible!
And suddenly I see
How bad a film can really beee.
It’s libel!
The Lord should sue someone
For libel.
I know that’s not the way
He planned to have His say to yeee.
The Bible!
Filmed in color that simply breath-taking;
When it’s through, all your friends you’ll be waking.
The Bible!
It wasn’t worth making
The Bible!
The Bible!
The Bible, the Bi-i-i-ble, the biBLE!
The Bi-i-i-i-ble!
The Bi-i-i-i-ble, the BIble!
You’ll see Adam and Eve set their table;
You’ll see Cain kill his kid brother, Abel.
The Bible!
John Huston plays God in
The Bible!
The most terrible film I ever saw…-
The Bi-i-ble.
MARAT-SADE
To the tune of These Foolish Things
A cigarette that bears a lipstick’s traces;
Just where the flame should be, that’s where your face is.
I love the screams it brings;
These ghoulish things remind me of you.
A belt that isn’t used to hold your pants up;
And if you yell, that means you give your chance up —
Which gives me extra swings;
These ghoulish things remind me of you.
You writhe, you twist,
Your skin turns blue.
Such paradise for you,
So more will I be nice to you.
Some shirts with collars that are small
I’ll get you.
Then in a tub of wet cement
I’ll set you.
Hear how the ghost of you sings,
These ghoulish things remind me of you.
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